Self-awareness is essential for leaders and for all of us. It enables us to understand ourselves, build strong relationships, make better decisions, continuously learn and grow, and inspire others. It is a foundational trait that contributes to effective leadership. It helps to uncover your purpose, your inner why. Something that drives you and motivates your actions. It is often an example of number one trait of a good leader character.
Impactful life
A long time ago, I was incredibly lucky to spend a weekend at a music workshop run by Mr. Jan Budziaszek, the drummer of the Skalds (a band popular in Poland long ago). He was an amazing man. In addition to the music lesson, he shared an amazing testimony of his life with us. One of the stories deeply captivated me.
“When I greet another person, regardless of who it is, I shake their hand and look deep into their eyes. I know it doesn’t matter who they are – saint or sinner, rich or poor.
I know two things for sure: we are equal to God. What does this mean? I know for sure that each of us has our own individual vocation. Everyone has a gift, something at which they excel, better than anyone else, even better than me.
This means that I can learn something from them, and that is a lesson in humility. On the other hand, I also know that I am gifted with some talent, something special, which I can share with them.”
Jan Budziaszek, Polish bigbit, rock and pop drummer.
Uncover your purpose
So, what is my gift? How you can uncover your purpose?
Sometimes, the simplest question is the hardest to answer.
Sometimes, digging deeper can reveal surprising answers.
And sometimes, it can provide a great opportunity for reflection.
So, here is the deal: the next time you meet your friend (but the real one) go for coffee and have a chat. Ask them this simple, but not easy question.
The Exercise
Ask a close friend who seriously takes care of you the question: “Why are we friends?”
They will struggle to articulate the emotional reasons initially.
Push them to go beyond surface-level descriptions of you being trustworthy, funny, etc.
Eventually, they will stop describing you and start talking about themselves.
They will express how you make them feel inspired, giving you goosebumps when they put that feeling into words!
The Insight
The thing you give to the world, your “why”, is the reason your close friends love you.
It’s the missing piece they want in their life, which is why you can’t be friends with everyone.
Doing this exercise with multiple close friends will reveal similar answers about your unique impact.
Having an emotional reaction when they describe your effect on them is the signal that you’ve discovered your “why”.
This exercise helps to uncover your purpose or “why” by revealing the intangible value you bring to others’ lives through the eyes of your closest friends.
Lessons learned from this coffee journey
Self-awareness is not only crucial for effective leadership but also for personal growth and fulfillment. It allows us to understand ourselves better, build meaningful relationships, make informed decisions, and continuously learn and inspire others.
The story Mr. Jan Budziaszek shared with me, taught me to recognise my our own gifts and acknowledge the unique contributions of others. It also helped me foster humility, another great trait of a good leader, and gave me an extra diminution to look at my personal and collective growth.
If you would like to go for a journey to discover your true purpose and recognize the meaningful impact you have on the people you care about, I encourage you to have a go with Simon’s “Why are we friends?” exercise.